The “G” in LGBT stands for gay. Gay is a word that commonly refers to a male or female whose sexual and/or romantic orientation is that of attraction to persons of the same sex. However many male gay people, refer to themselves as ‘gay’, while many female gay people refer to themselves as lesbian.
What is the “gay community”?
You may have heard someone refer to the ‘gay community’. This is simply because many people, organizations and media outlets have, in recent times, begun to use the word gay as a general reference to members of the LGBT community and the culture attached to this community.
Am I the only one?
While there are a lot of differing statistics and surveys, the agreed average is about 1 in 10 people are LGBT. While you may not realise it, you meet LGBT people every day. So you should never feel that you are the only gay in the village!
Are there gay people in Q Soc?
Of course, Q Soc is a place for LGBTQ people to congregate and socialise. There are members of every sexual orientation, including gay men and women.
It can be really refreshing to meet people who will more than likely understand where you are coming from, simply because they’ve had similar experiences & know how you might be feeling or have felt in the past. We offer a wide range of events, specifically geared towards the diverse nature of our members.
But why do people use the term ‘gay’ negatively?
The term gay, like any word can be used in a variety of contexts. Some people use the term ‘gay’ as an adjective to express dislike of something. For example ‘that’s so gay’. In many cases it’s just a word and the person using it doesn’t mean anything homophobic by it. But sometimes they do.
It’s worth baring in mind that many gay people will be offended by that and either way, using gay in a negative context passively encourages homophobia. It’s simply a case of choosing how you want to use a term which describes a considerable number of people and also refers to a culture.
Dispelling the myths of being gay
Gay people act in a certain way.
Frankly, stereotypes are built on generalizations. Some people fit them, some don’t. Your sexuality is simply another element of your individuality.
Gay people, just like straight people, act in all kinds of ways. Sometimes a stereotype about a group doesn’t fit anyone in that group. Sometimes it fits a small contingent of people, sometimes more. But a stereotype never fits everyone in any group.
For example, you might hear that gay men are “effeminate”. Some gay men are. Some gay men aren’t. Some straight males who aren’t sure of their sexuality may act super macho, as do some gay men who are afraid of being identified as gay. Some lesbian women act very feminine for the same reason. You can’t really tell anything about a persons sexuality by the way they act and conversely you don’t have to change how you act to fit in with your orientation
Remember – you don’t need to prove anything to anybody. Just be yourself.
Being gay is a choice.
Your true sexuality is most definitely not a choice. In finding what feels most normal for you, you will learn a great deal about yourself. Exploring and discovering your sexuality is a personal and sometimes a long process. It’s most comforting to know that you have all the time in the world. You can make conscious choices about how you wish to view your sexuality and how you wish to to live your life but ultimately, your true sexuality is not a choice.
Gay men have more sex.
There is a common preconception that gay men are more sexually active than straight people. This is simply untrue. While men, have been proven to have a higher sexual-drive or libido than women, this does not mean that gay men engage in more sexual activity. Every person, be they gay, straight, transgender or lesbian, has individual sexual needs and desires and can act on or not act on those needs and desires as they wish.
Straight people view gay people differently
Every person holds their own views on how other people live their lives. These views are simply part of being a human being. Instead of wondering if all straight people will view you differently for being a gay person, consider how will individuals that matter to you, view you. The likelihood is that people like to spend time with you, because of your individual qualities. Being a gay person, won’t change those qualities.